Super squeaky bum time! You hit me with a cricket bat. You’ve swallowed a planet! You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! Saving the world with meals on wheels.

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness.

Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Saving the world with meals on wheels. Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you?

I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is not how I’m introducing myself. Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish.

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better?

Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today. All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. Did I mention we have comfy chairs? All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong?

You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool. You’ve swallowed a planet! It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things.…hey.…the good things don’t always soften the bad things; but vice-versa the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Did I mention we have comfy chairs?

You know how I sometimes have really brilliant ideas? I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. I’m the Doctor. Well, they call me the Doctor. I don’t know why. I call me the Doctor too. I still don’t know why. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff.

I never loved you. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. And why did ‘I’ have to take a cab? I’ve been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope? Leela, Bender, we’re going grave robbing. OK, if everyone’s finished being stupid.
These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I’ll rest easier not knowing where they are. And until then, I can never die? We’re rescuing ya. Ugh, it’s filthy! Why not create a National Endowment for Strip Clubs while we’re at it? Michelle, I don’t regret this, but I both rue and lament it.

Daddy Bender, we’re hungry. Morbo will now introduce tonight’s candidates… PUNY HUMAN NUMBER ONE, PUNY HUMAN NUMBER TWO, and Morbo’s good friend, Richard Nixon. No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don’t own! What are you hacking off? Is it my torso?! ‘It is!’ My precious torso! File not found.

You know, I was God once. Hi, I’m a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. You, a bobsleder!? That I’d like to see! Hello, little man. I will destroy you!